Mathematicians, Daggers and Leprechauns

There's so much going on this week in March that I hardly know what to celebrate. Yesterday was Pi Day, today marks the Ides of March and Friday is St. Patty's. Oh, and the first day of spring is right around the corner.

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Last night, as my fellow graduate students were passing around pieces of pie in our Quantitative Methods Analysis class--a course we love to hate-- I started thinking about the randomness of some U.S. holidays. Just one glimpse of the "National Day Calendar" and you'll agree that we celebrate some pretty ridiculous things around here. 

In fact, here's a day-by-day list for the month of March. This is a 'Blogger's Choice' list meaning that I'm the blogger and get to pick which random holidays are funny. Keep in mind, I'm weeding out a bunch of designations as I do this and merely listing one per day:

March 1st      Nat'l Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2nd    Nat'l Old Stuff Day
March 3rd     Nat'l 'I Want You to be Happy' Day
March 4th     Nat'l Pound Cake Day
March 5th     Nat'l Multiple Personality Day
March 6th     Nat'l Frozen Food Day
March 7th     Nat'l Be Heard Day
March 8th     Nat'l Proofreading Day
March 9th     Nat'l Barbie Day
March 10th   Nat'l Pack Your Lunch Day
March 11th    Nat'l Worship of Tools Day
March 12th   Nat'l Plant a Flower Day
March 13th   Nat'l Earmuff Day 
March 14th   Nat'l Potato Chip Day
March 15th   Nat'l Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
March 16th   Nat'l Artichoke Hearts Day
March 17th   Nat'l Corned Beef & Cabbage Day
March 18th   Nat'l Awkward Moments Day
March 19th   Nat'l Poultry Day
March 20th  Nat'l Proposal Day
March 21st   My Birth Day!
March 22nd Nat'l Goof Off Day
March 23rd  Nat'l Melba Toast Day
March 24th  Nat'l Chocolate-Covered Raisin Day
March 25th  Nat'l Tolkein Reading Day
March 26th  Nat'l Spinach Day
March 27th  Nat'l Joe Day
March 28th  Nat'l Something on a Stick Day
March 29th  Nat'l Little Red Wagon Day
March 30th  Nat'l I Am in Control Day
March 31st   Nat'l Bunsen Burner Day

Need I say more? Clearly, we've lost our minds as a nation. So which ones will you commemorate? I don't know about the rest of my family, but sign me up for March 30th.

Here's the real question--how the heck do these crazy days get placed on a calendar, or a website for that matter? 

Answer: you simply register here
I think it's free, but don't quote me on that. If you get charged for buying a star, I'm sure a fee is involved in buying a whole day. But rest assured that all applications submitted are confidential and fact-checked by Nat'l Day researchers (who gets that job?). Not only is your day recognized, but you also get a bunch of other perks, like a press release, inclusion on social media channels, and a freaking framed proclamation.

You should also note that there are limitations to this service. Nat'l Day Calendar folks do not declare National Days, Weeks or Months for (1) birthdays, (2) anniversaries or (3) individuals because that would involve an act of congress. Literally. 

Well, that's probably enough March Madness. I will leave you with this one thought... National Tolkein Reading Day is really stupid because nobody can read Tolkein in a single 24-hour period. For heaven's sake, give the man a whole month!
Credit: LOTR Wiki (One Wiki to Rule Them All)


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